2012 Celebs - the boys

Richard Arnold
Daybreak's Soapy Dick – because he does the soap and celeb goss, you seeeee. He's as camp as all the seasonal festivities and his enthusiasm for tans and sequins is already well documented on Twitter. He's also fan of retweeting support for himself - not an advisable practice; my finger has already hovered over the 'unfollow' button. I think he could entertain us during the few short weeks the BBC will allow an ITVer to 'shine'.

Could be paired with: Flavia has worked wonders with the 'comedy' character, but surely its someone else's turn this year. *prays for Aliona*

Johnny Ball
Well he's lovely, isn't he, but it won't be a long Strictly stay... Cue the maths jokes from Len for as long as he does last - basically until his fateful first Latin. Johnny does salsa. Hmmm... not sure I want to think of that number. (GEDDIT?!?!?)

Could be paired with: without wishing to repeat myself... Flavia has worked wonders with the 'comedy' character, but surely its someone else's turn this year. *prays for Aliona*

Nicky Byrne
The other anonymous blond one out of Westlife, with a well-documented ability to wear shiny grey suits and stand up off a stool. I wasn't too fussed and then he tweeted the expression "holy shitballs" to describe his forthcoming nerves/excitement, so I've come around.

Could be paired with: Erin? She needs a good ‘un for (what always feels like) her last stand.

Sid Owen
Rickaaaaaaay.
Meh.

Could be paired with: Ola? She’s been training the halfway houses for years, so no reason she won’t get another for 2012.

Colin Salmon
An act-TOR and simultaneously both the most and least famous of the crop. His face will be internationally known, but his personality hasn’t been overtly branded in the nation’s glossy/gossy mags - and who cares about pure talent? If your failed relationships and beauty parlour disasters haven’t been mentioned repeatedly in the pages of Take A Break, you risk lacking key voting power.

Could be paired with: I just googled “Colin Salmon height” and he’s 6 foot 4. So Natalie. Obvz.

Louis Smith
World class gymnast. Pommel Horse wonder. TOTES SWOON. How do I love thee, Louis? Let me count the ways: taut, bendy, strong, poised, young, fit, FIT and with excellently groomed facial hair. I'd have actually cried if he'd not been on the final list.

Could be paired with: He's a mini, so Natalie Lowe will be off somewhere throwing a temper tantrum and contemplating reprogramming her leg length. I’d love Kristina to get her thighs clamped around him, but I suspect he’ll be put with Karen Newbie or bloody Aliona. Pah.

Michael Vaughan
Cricketer. Um. Not sure what else... I have actually read his Wikipedia entry, but my eyes glazed over pretty quickly and there wasn’t a section entitled ‘Daily Mail Controversies’, so we shall have to wait and see. Cricketers do do well though.

Could be paired with: any of the above.