Well. WELL. The Strictlysphere was due a shock exit, but I’m not sure anyone thought it’d be Aston! What happened? I’m still not sure really. The forums went all guns blazing for Janette’s choreo, but I don't think it was that terrible. Maybe the barbershop ‘fro theme was too incongruous for a snooty Viennese Waltz and they’d have been fine with some trad tails and slicked hair, which is a bit of a depressing thought. Maybe it was Craig’s 4 (like RILLY?!), but equally that can garner fans to pick up the phone in indignant fury. It was probably a combination of lots of factors, not least that this is a popularity contest as much as anything else. Soz Aston. Already missing the tricks Janette would've pulled out for your showdance. At least you snuck a backflip into your final turn on the Strictly floor. It's what the JLS fans would have wanted.
Mollie was perhaps lucky to get Shirl’s casting vote, but it did come from trotting out a marginally better ballroom performance (so I understand from the forums, fountains of all knowledge and bitchery). So that doesn’t seem too unfair, but my best guess is that poor Mollie will still bear some of the brunt and end up in the dance off again this week. (AJ will need to take particular care with his sartorial choice this week – a tight lilac trouser/cravat number at the very, very least.) I’d rather have seen Aston dance next week rather than Mollie, but that’s not the test.
Personally I’d have axed Gemma for that sack of tatties salsa (soz Aljaz). Yes that’s right Britain, *deep breath* I would have kept Ruth. There. I said it. Regular punters will know I’ve had my ups and downs with Anton (mainly downs, so many many downs), but I couldn’t help but enjoy that preposterous paso. From the gurning to the handkerchief flares to the closing dry hump improv... Reader, I chuckled throughout. Respect to Ruth for her quick-thinking and hen night channelling with that crotch to crotch collapse at the end - that takes balls (as it were). Extraordinarily I now want to see what Anton will choreograph next, as well as which wig type Ruth gets to don. Who’d have thought it would come to this?
Susan too would have definitely made my cut, in her glitter dunga-frock. Also nice to see Kevin Clifton dressed as a lesbian. It was a joyful number, though obviously not my favourite Strictly jive to This Ole House. Haiiii Michael – any excuse for this link of comedy brilliance.
Also brilliant, Alex (obvz), throwing out a cha cha cha that I - SHOCK HORROR - really enjoyed. More than enjoyed, really - she is just extraordinary and I’m not sure what it’s going to take for my fangirling to subside at this point. (Also extra points for scarlet dress action with tassels. Even Gorka dressed as a waiter didn't reduce my squeals.)
I do get that Debbie is brilliant too, but a TANGO to 'I Got A Feeling'? ?!?!?!? Woeful choice of music. What were the production smoking? Tango needs a moody, passionate piece. Latin inspired. Sharp and tense. So what’s the ideal song? Oh I know, that provincial club classic by the Black Eyed Peas - you know, the one they clearly wrote in a couple of minutes as a pisstake, to test out whether their fans, nay the world, were so into them that they’d make any old tat of a song into a global smash. Yes that’s right, the one where they get non-singer Will-i-Am to croak out “oooooh ooooh tonight’s gonna be a good night”. Maddening. That Debbie still got a 40 shows how great a dancer she is.
For me, it’s a Debbie/Alex two horse race, as I can’t see any of the charming but middling men outlasting them in a dance-off (then again ASTON). But they are so very charming, aren't they? Davood was probably the best of that bunch this week – his “bum lift” (thanks Darcey for the technical dance term) was cracking (terrible pun totally intended). Though Joe’s wooden soldier charleston and drumography was also banging (even more terrible pun totally intended). Jonnie’s salsa was mainly all about his sun-in blow-dry, but he remains my spiritual favourite (no terrible puns to offer on this one, sadly).
It’s Friday, so probably best to wrap up, eh? I’ve little to add about Sunday’s show at this point, so let's go for the usual blah blah blah judging women’s clothes (indifferent all round this week), blah blah blah judging pro-dancers’ group dance (pretty terrible, in spite of Neil and Katya’s excellent duet), blah blah blah judging celebrity performance (actually it was fun to see that Kelly Stereophonics hasn’t aged at all – all hail Britpop botox).
Really can’t call it for the next evictee. So long as they don’t kick out my Alexandra, all will be well. Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepetc.
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