Favourite dances - a working list

Disclaimer: I may have blogged tens of thousands of words of overenthusiastic drivel about Strictly, but I have a terrible memory for the details of Strictly pasts (a few months after a series is over, although I know I LOVED it, I can barely even remember who was even there).  So the point I’m making is this:

I reserve the right to change my mind about this list ALL THE TIME. 

Here are my favourite dances - determined by the ones that first came to mind when faced with the YouTube search box on a particular day.

It threw up a few genuine surprises.

1. My ambivalence towards Austin Healey’s public persona is outweighed by my enjoyment of his dance skills - unbelievably, he’s my highest scorer and I’ve included two of his performances (the power of Erin).

2. Apparently I love more jives than any other dance – who knew?  (Seriously?!  I thought I was #teamtango.)

3. Although I would furiously rue a Strictly which only threw up rubbishy joke dances (and would throw a major tantrum for which I would hold Ann Widdecombe personally responsible), many of my most memorable favourites are joyfully, brilliantly terrible.

I have arranged the listings thematically.  Let’s do dis.

Argentine Tangos

Karen and Ramps tango to Goldeneye  

Series four, semi-final

From back in the good old days, when the Argentine Tango was reserved for the semi-finals - and was therefore only attacked by the most talented celebs, after weeks of building up vital rapport with their pro-dancers.  There’s no sarky snipes or comedy asides for you on this one (even about Karen’s unexpected gusset flash at the end), as it’s just too special - it remains my all time favourite dance of all time-ness.  The music, the styling, the choreography, the tango face...  It all works for me.  And the intensity between them is... Well.  It gives me ‘feelings’.

Vinthent and Rachel tango to When Doves Cry 

Series six, semi-final

It actually beggars belief that a pint-sized comedy Italian stereotype (I mith you Vinthent) and the beigest pop star of them all can come up with something so sharp and cool and sexy and yes.

Jives

Michael Vaughan’s axe and Natbot perform to This Ole House 

Series ten, week two

I don’t want to belittle the serious medical condition that is depression, but I believe there would be public and social value in using NHS funds to carry out clinical trials on the effectiveness of watching this performance as a treatment mental health.  It's one of the funniest things I have EVER, EVER seen.

Erin and Austin perform to You Got The Beat  

Series six, week three

ERIN’S DRESS. (Also, Austin’s embarrassingly hilariously pelvic jiggle and high kick to the judges during the “and you if you don’t like the way I look, well I just don’t give a da-ham” bit, clearly inspired by Erin’s previous work with Peter “one two three shake your body down” Schmeichel.)

Pro Dance Jive to Rebel Yell

Series five

Is it fair to throw in a pro dance? Well, I’m gonna. Passive aggressive competitive peacocking through the medium of jiving in turquoise satin.  (Also, James’ hilarious Wolverine hair.  Hahaha, what a way to deal with a receding hairline.)

Miscellaneous Latinz

Other Karen and Dave Myers cha cha cha to Moves Like Jagger 

Series eleven, week one

To be honest, Dave Hairy Biker managed a triology of amazing latin (Cha Cha Like Jagger, Paso Meatloaf, Fruit Salsa Trolley), all of which I loved, but this one, with its white satin shirt slit to the navel and opening shout of “WOW!” is my favourite of those favourites.  A turning point for Karen Hauer.

Erin and Austin perform a paso doblé to Espana Cani

Series six, semi-final

(What a show that was – it throws up two of my favourite performances.)  The best bit of this dance is actually Austin's “HA!” and “OLÉ!” shouting at the start - the rest of it is basically a whole lot of pomping about whilst everyone looks at Erin’s washboard stomach - but you gotta love how they fully commit to the preposterousness of it all.  I love it.

Ian’s red trousers and Jade salsa to La Isla Bonita 

Series seven, week four

I suppose it’s not quite true that this is one of my favourite *dance* pieces, but those trousers are SO SPECIAL.  They are a dance in themselves.

Mark and Iveta cha cha cha to You Can’t Touch This

Series eleven, week four

Stop! Veta time.  Hip pop cha cha via a slo-mo leg extension and Croydon face lift.  Ivetamazing is a very special Strictly lady and this utterly proved it.

Claudia and Len’s tribute to Kristina & John Sergeant’s paso (2 minutes 30 in)

Series seven, It Takes Two

The original is the stuff of Strictly legend, but this version (of which I can only find a snippet *WAAAH*) is even more wonderful.  Why can’t Claudia present EVERYTHING?  (Bar Bake-Off.)

Miscellaneous Ballroomz

Robin and Patsy perform a Viennese Waltz to Anyone Who Had A Heart

Series eight, week seven

Patsy Kensit - who had a nine week run before ending up another piece of Widdecombe collateral damage - probably won’t be remembered as a legendary Strictly competitor, but she nonetheless managed a truly special feat - she got me to properly love a Viennese Waltz.  This is a really sweet performance from a woman coming out of the shadows of divorce and forging an amazing partnership with her GBF-for-life.  The romance of a blossoming friendship between fag and hag – just beautiful.

Artem and Natalie perform an American Smooth to And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going

Series eleven, final

In which Natalie TOUCHES THE DIVINE.

Charlestons

Ola and Chris perform to Fat Sam's Grand Slam

Series seven, week eleven

After which it became the law that all charlestons must contain swimming.  This is what won it for them, frankly - Hollins wasn’t the greatest (he wasn’t even that great), but this was such a fun, frolicky, infectious performance which brought the best out of Olachops.  The series before, my sister and I had regularly discussed what a sulky madam Ola was and how little we thought of her, but this Team Cola year suggested that that wasn't fair - she just suffered from a) Resting Bitchy Face and b) being married to James.

Brendan and Sophie perform to Rock It For Me

Series eleven, week two

I know Sophie has been lauded as a robbed should-be winner by many - and I’ll happily accept that she came across as a fantastic person (“I’m a thirty-four year old woman, Brendan”), but I’m going to be brutal here – I think this was pretty much her only good dance of the entire series.  (*ducks*)  Course, if you’re going to have a good dance, it might as well be this one, which basically reinvents the Strictly Come Dancing charleston as fucking cool.

Showdance

Flavia and Matt perform to Are You Gonna Go My Way

Series five, final

Although my Strictly memory is poor, this live version of this one will be forever burned on my eyeballs.  I will NEVER forget the moment itself: one minute after he has taken to the dancefloor, Matt Di Angelo LITERALLY spins Flavia Cacace by her mimsy.  (BY HER MIMSY!!!)  At the time, I was so blown away by such a feat that I *very nearly* thought Alesha shouldn’t win. That was crazytalk, of course, but it shows the power of that oh so rarest of beasts: a bloody good showdance.